By my standards, it’s not okay to say that I want to be the best. This would be arrogant and egotistical. But it’s okay to say that I want to be my best self.
At the risk of repeating myself (click here), there is a fine line between the two, and a significant difference.
Being my best self has the purpose of learning, fulfilling my potential and giving back to others. Being the best has the purpose of outshining others and reassuring the relentless sense of deficiency of my ego by being better than to make sure I’m not less.
When my best self meets others, she is excited for everyone to fulfill their potential and talents. Sometimes she even wants others’ fulfillment more than her own
When striving to be the best meets others, she doesn’t care as much about others fulfilling their potential and talents as she does about them admiring her. And if others don’t fulfill anything, even better. More room in the kitchen.
Consciously or unconsciously, we constantly cross the line between being our best self and being the best, to the point where we often don’t have a clue about which paradigm we are existing in.
Personally, if I stay too long in the paradigm of wanting to be the best– it can manifest as wanting to be the wisest in the room – I start to get anxious, impatient, judgmental, righteous, a poor listener, self-absorbed, controlling, disengaged, insecure, depressed or preachy. Then, it’s just a matter of time before I become the stupidest in the room, feeling alone and disconnected.
Simply said, I am my best self when I’m connected to others, and at the service of a purpose.
No more, no less.
Reflective question: Do you recognize the difference between wanting to be your best self and wanting to be the best? What purpose helps you to be your best self?