How often do we fiercely fight with our dear ones to defend a point of view that ends up being not that far from the point of view of the other?
That’s what is called being in violent agreement.
Being in violent agreement might seem like a less dysfunctional mode of communication than violent disagreement.
But what a waste to be in alignment with our partner or colleagues, and still feel on guard.
If we can minimize our bursts of violent agreement and instead nurture the delicious surprise of discovering common ground, I’m sure that we can liberate a lot of brain power for developing inner strength and better communication.
For example, by practicing kind disagreement. Another indispensable skill to be a leader in the XXI century.
Reflection: How do you express your disagreement with others? Do you value and honor common ground?
I’m struck by the guarded nature of distrust/fear so well exemplified here. I find for myself that leads to this, or withdrawal, the root seems the same though, a fear in me, not so much really in what the other is doing. That realization then can make me double down on the fear unfortunately, till I work through that. No wonder it seems to be easier to blame the other… than go through that! 🙂 We are funny aren’t we? Dropping my guard, in the first place takes way less energy!
Yes, we are funny! Thanks Rick for the reminder that dropping our guard, in the first place, takes way less energy!