Blogging entails many ego-dangers*. One of them is to have your “unsubscribe” blog button clicked.
*Note: an ego-danger is a danger to your self-worth.
At the beginning of my career as a blogger, I intellectually knew that it was ridiculous to trigger myself with the MailChimp report** denouncing the names of all the “unsubscribers”.
**Note: Like many people, I’m benefiting from a free mail delivery service that also sends a report each time I launch a new campaign.
I could list all the rational reasons why persons, who initially chose to follow my blog, have the absolute right to unsubscribe and betray me. Yes, they could and should exercise the power of excluding me from their life, even though I barely send one email per month. (Really? Was it that much generosity to ask from them? Does the world not need more gutsy artists like me to be supported?). I could control my reactions –gathering all my courage – by thinking:
- “Emails can be a plague. Like me, people signed up for too many newsletters/blogs they don’t have the time to read. Good for them for being detached enough to set boundaries against the email calamity at the expense of our connection”.
- “You don’t want me; I don’t want you. You don’t know what you’re missing. Too bad for you.”
- A small database made up of early adopters is better than a big database made up of uncommitted readers.”
- “Carole, be grateful you got more new subscribers than “unsubscribers!”
- “Carole, stop taking things so personally. Stop. Stop. STOP!!!”
As you can tell, I tried very hard to use the full capacity of my pre-fontal cortex to think right. However, each “unsubscription” was still experienced as an unfair rejection of my person, a gigantic loss in my database and a deep wound to my intrinsic motivation. In other words, it was a big trigger to my ego – an ego’s Hot Hot Hot Button***!
***Note: An Ego’s Hot Button is a point of sensitivity that our ego recognizes as a threat. I wrote a book on the subject. Did I mention it in the last two years ?
Thankfully, today, with my 25 years+ of personal mastery, and my 7 years of experience with blogging, I don’t react immaturely anymore to the Mailchimp report. I’ve learned to use my strongest ego’s hot buttons as a leverage to be centered and in touch with my own needs, wants, and boundaries.
So if you’re tired of the meticulous description of my ego’s life and took some resolution in 2015 to let go of unnecessary time consuming activities, feel absolutely free to unsubscribe to my blog. I’m happy to be supportive in that way too.
Just make sure to send me a warning note with the reasons for your abandonment and I’ll approve if relevant. This way, I’ll be sure that it’s not an impulsive rejection and that you respect and love me, even though my work isn’t good enough for you anymore. Therefore I won’t waste my precious creative energy in self-centered distractions. And then, maybe, there will be peace on earth.
Carole
It is so easy to withdraw in an effort to avoid the world of rejection out there. Thanks for soldiering on and speaking for the rest of us (who are more like turtles).
Thanks Kim! I like turtles especially when they put their head outside and leave comments on my blog!
Thanks, Carole, this made my morning, and came at a very opportune time. I needed a little inducement to take myself a bit less seriously.
Thanks Ross for your comment. Taking ourselves a bit less seriously… that’s all we need!
No unsubscribing here 🙂 Just always behind with all the emails.
Peace and hugs to all who like them,
Riia
Ah ah!