I love exploring the tension between being somebody and being nobody.
If we are too attached to being somebody, we experience scarcity and fear. We push, control, hide, distort… We exhaust ourselves and others.
If we are too attached to being nobody, we miss the opportunity to allow the gifts of our life to blossom.
That is a version of what we call the Ego-gap, at Learning as Leadership.
I have noticed that stellar performers have a healthy detachment. They know who they are. They own the highs and lows of their story and create meaning out of it. They show up with imperfection, humility, humor, and intention. However, they don’t have too much attachment to the outcome.
This is a lesson I keep learning from my friend and mentor Arina Isaacson who teaches Executive Presence and Storytelling: to know who we are, we need to know the multitude of stories that have paved our lives – all the obstacles and inspirations that have shaped us.
Only then can we walk the line -with grace and lightness- between being somebody and being nobody.
Reflection: Do you know the stories – positive or negative- that have paved your life? Can you give them a title? Can you articulate their lesson?
Exercise to explore who you are: Create a spreadsheet with the titles of your stories and their lessons. Have fun!
Excellent. The crux and daily/seasonal challenge of balance with energy.
What a great idea to create the spreadsheet. Thanks Carol. Maybe I can title it: Pitfalls on the way to understanding there are no great women or men. Just us people.
I’d love to hear the story that goes with the title!
For many years I tried hard to forget some of the stories that pave my life.
I thought, for good reasons, they were just bad stories.
Over time, I realized in doing so, that I was missing the learnings they were holding for me.
Thank you for the reminder Carole!