December 21, 2014 Carole Levy

Asking for help in the XXI century


Difficulty in asking for help is a common ego-challenge* amongst leaders and an inevitable one to resolve in a hyper-connected century in which collaboration is indispensable. Knowing how to ask for help is a leadership skill that must be developed. *An ego-challenge is fear-based and tied to a self-worth preoccupation.

Personally, the reasons why I don’t ask for help are:

  •  I don’t want to appear weak, incompetent and wrong.
  • I don’t like to be told what to do, especially when I’m usually the one who is dictating what to do.
  • I might not know exactly what I need. Therefore I might be misunderstood, in addition to appearing weak, incompetent and wrong.
  • Overall, I don’t trust that others can help me. I fundamentally believe that I can only count on myself.

There is both truth and confusion in this fundamental belief.

When I ask for help from a place of confusion, it’s usually unproductive, and it feeds the reasons why I don’t want to ask for help and why others can’t help me.


However, it is true that everything starts with me, and in this sense, I can only count on myself.

If I ask for help from this place of clarity and responsibility, I can accept that others might not want to help me.

I can also accept that others might be imperfect in their advices; they can misunderstand my needs, become pushy or awkward, while wholeheartedly attempting to help me.

Eventually, in order to productively ask for help in the XXI century, I can learn to count on others to a certain extent, but I can only count on myself to open the door of my heart and let them in.

I wish YOU a peaceful closure to 2014 before opening the door to 2015, and to OTHERS!



Reflections: What are your most unproductive ways to asking for help and what are your best practices? I’d love to hear from you if you’d like to share!

Comments (2)

  1. Helene

    Thanks for it, like usual I loved it ! So my best unproductive way of ( not) asking help ( but waiting for) is to tell the list of all I have to do with all the difficulties and challenge and I don’t know how I’m gonna make it but I’m so strong that I won’t give up ….
    1 on a 10 times the other offer help…
    Most of those times I answer by no really I don’t want to bother…
    Wonder Woman issues… Still working on it ! Thanks for your help ! Every piece that you make is a huge support 🙂 ! Enjoy your end of the year, may the next be the one of your shining greatness full of infinite live for yourself ! I make the same wish for myself … Love you .

    • Thanks Helene! I love your unproductive way to (not) ask for help! I relate! I wish you a Wonder Year full of connections and love. I’m grateful you’re in my life.

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