June 6, 2019 Carole Levy

Do you mean “yes” or “no”?

Title: Do you mean “yes” or “no”?

We all have been there: saying “yes” to a request when we meant “no” and “no” when we meant “yes”. 

Sometimes we say the opposite of what we mean because we want to please others, avoid a conflict or taking a risk, or to protect our reputation. 

These and other sub-texts influence our confused choices.  

The best communication skills start with being aware of our sub-text and then to engage in a conversation with others that can create a win-win situation. Simply asking for my needs to be met while ignoring the sub-text of others involved is not going to work either. 

Or perhaps it could! Imagine a world in which everybody asks for what they need without any fuss. And then in return, everybody honestly responds with a “yes” or a “no” that they really mean, without any fuss either. Wouldn’t life be easier?!

Yes and no.

Perhaps we would also miss an aspect of what makes the glue of solid relationships: making complex and trivial decisions together by learning to navigate all the conflicted needs and desires inherent in being human.

Don’t you think? 

Yes or no?

Reflective questions: When do you say “yes” when you mean “no”? When do you say “no” when my mean “yes”? What are the reasons behind your choices?


Please enter your name and e-mail and click the Submit button to receive your download of the Bumpy Road Workbook. This will also automatically add you to my newsletter mailing list.

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.